October 25, 2012

25/31 How Alex prepared me to be one of the 47%


Being one of the 47% involves penny pinching, rule bending and humor. The following are the top 25 tricks Alex taught me that have made my new classification easier to bear.  

Penny Pinching:
  • Never take a shower until your hair sticks to your head – saves water and shampoo
  • Never wash clothes until they reek – saves water, electricity and detergent
  • Only wear tee shorts with holes in them – they last much longer
  • Sleep naked – saves on PJs
  • Don’t exercise – saves on showers
  • Sneak food – we will not know it is gone and have to go to grocery store
  • Refuse to go clothes shopping – saves on gas and clothing costs
  • Grow a uni-brow – will not have to get eyebrows waxed
  • Don’t wear make-up – saves on make-up costs
  • Never listen to Mom - or the above nine penny pinching hints will be moot

Rule Bending:
  • Use SSI to buy groceries
  • Use SSI to buy gas
  • Request scholarships whenever possible
  • Eat lunch at Costco
  • Eat dinner at buffets
  • Only buy food that is on sale – even if it is cookies
  • Eat lots of rice and pasta
  • Skip breakfast
  • Change your age depending on the offer
  • Cry as needed - mom and bill collectors will be nicer

 Humor:
  • Always smile and laugh
  • Recognize when someone needs a hug and hug
  • Notice something different about a person and make a joke
  • Make fun or yourself
  • Tell Mom that things will be alright until she is sick of hearing it!
And the bonus……let Mom poke fun at me if it makes her feel better…..

A huge thanks to everyone who read my recent post about becoming one of the millions of Americans who are the 47%. I appreciate all the words of support I received. And after much thought – well not too much – to those who offered to help, please share our book with everyone you know.

2 comments:

  1. I feel so good. I can check off many of these things too!!! I love to belong. So tell me, how do YOU make the most money from your book. I want to recommend it but I want to do so in a way that benefits you best.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Thanks Rachel - this post just cracked me up as I thought about all the humor Alex brings in my day! Thanks for the book support - best place to buy it is on the blog - amazon takes a big chunk of the proceeds!

    ReplyDelete

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