Nailing the interview!

Although we are not sure why Alex was not accepted at her number one college choice, I believe it was partially due to her interview. Alex's interview was scheduled for less than a week after her return from the World Winter Special Olympic Games in South Korea and she was coming down from a 14 day long adrenaline high.

During that interview Alex was quiet and withdrawn. She used the "I don't know" response many more times than is acceptable in any interview. She did not focus during her assessments and refused to do the written essay. I know this is because she was exhausted, and like me, when Alex is tired she shuts down. I was pretty sure this would impact the decision and was not surprised when she was not accepted.

For the few weeks before our trip to the University of Cincinnati we talked a lot about the importance of an interview. Alex hates it when I try to give her advice and just like my other two kids, she has the "I know more than you Mom" attitude that seems to infect kids at about 16 and never goes away. Alex would have no part in my pleas to practice her interviewing skills, or even prepare answers to potential questions. I was concerned we were on another unsuccessful college trip.

But as in all things Alex, and something I seem to forget over and over again, she was processing. I know I should NEVER EVER EVER underestimate Alex. She has proven time and time again she can do ANYTHING she sets her mind to - and college is no exception.

We arrived at the University of Cincinnati interview after almost two days of traveling and I was exhausted. I chugged coffee, Alex chugged an overwhelming desire to get into the University of Cincinnati TAP program. And she did.

There are many many days when Alex does not have down syndrome, and April 22nd, 2013 was one of those days. She was articulate, funny and incredibly engaging during the ninety minutes we spent together in the interview. Although Alex has now been out of school for almost a year, she did well on her assessments, while demonstrating some math regression.

Alex was accepted on the spot and is proud to tell everyone she knows that she is now a Bearcat!

Me, I am incredibly proud to be the parent of a child born almost twenty years ago with down syndrome, who can say, "next year John and I will be empty-nesters, ALL three of our kids will be in college". I can not take much credit for this, it was all Alex, Alex who shared she wanted to go to college, Alex who graduated from High School, Alex who filled out the college application (thanks John for all your help, you stepped in when I could not) and Alex who nailed her interview.

It has not been easy and I do take some credit for listening, never discounting Alex's dreams and never giving up. We will work with Alex all summer to prepare her for college, just like we will work with her brother who will be attending Boulder in the fall. And then, come September, I fear I will feel lost without my kids.

Next up - Lunch in Cincinnati with two ladies I have been admiring from afar! Sneak preview

The Messy awards!

My house is messy, my kids are messy (except Alex - who is the neatest individual I know) and I never iron my clothes - thus I look messy at times!

Although not my favorite house decor, messy is just a part of my life these days. But with three kids in college next year (more on Alex in subsequent posts) I know this has been a temporary 18 year long digression in my life. Very soon, I can return to my own personal style, which I call "wanna be aging hippie".

Today one of the many talented bloggers I follow honored many other talented bloggers with the first ever "Messy" awards. These awards were not awarded on one's house, kid's rooms or clothing style. They were awarded by the very talented Vicki as follows:

"And here I present to you the first ever “Messy” awards. These awards are neither exclusive nor comprehensive, so please, take no offense if your writing is not listed here. In fact, feel free to drop me a note about your own or someone else’s writing that you think should be included. Who the heck am I to be presumptuous enough to bestow awards? I’m nobody, of course (so don’t go puttin’ this award on your resume just yet). Nobody but somebody who likes to read, write and share what I learn in my travels. And I’ve read many more great posts and articles than I could ever have the time to list here. So I picked mostly things that turned personal experience into something universal, or writing that challenged conventional wisdom or tackled a complicated topic. I hope to make this a permanent page, as soon as I figure out how to do that ☺

Despite the title, the awards have nothing to do with being a mess, or otherwise crazy like yours truly. This is simply a directory of some of my favorite writing about disability, usually Down syndrome in particular. Listed here, in no particular order, is writing that sang, that resonated long after I read it. Though I have shared many of these on my Thoroughly Modern Messy fan page on Facebook over time, I want to make sure that everyone knows about these wonderful, insightful writers who have made my days more interesting and my life richer. Please pick a few that appeal to you and start reading. Don’t forget to spend some time on these writers’ blogs too. You won’t be disappointed!"

In the tooting one's own horn category I was flabbergasted to receive one of these prestigious awards:

"BEST REMINDER THAT YOUR CHILD’S LIFE IS HERS, NOT YOURS:
If you are the parent of a young child with Down syndrome, make sure you follow this mom’s inspiring blog. Gary Hughes Bender writes about her adult daughter with warmth and grace at The Ordinary Life of an Extraordinary Girl: 

http://www.theextraordinarygirl.com/2012/12/186-miles-of-tears.html"

In all seriousness, I am very touched by this honor. Recognizing that all three of my children are leaving the nest and venturing out on their own has been the greatest challenge of my life. Recognizing and honoring Alex's hopes and visions for her future, just as I did with her siblings, has been the second greatest challenge, and making these dream a reality for her (not ME) has been one of my most rewarding challenges and I am only 20 years in to it! I appreciate the kudos.

Please follow Vicki, she is a very talented writer and shares a lot of great information:

Thoroughly Modern Messy

And one more thing.....thanks for not asking Alex to be one of the judges!

College is a reality!

A little over six weeks ago I wrote a post about Alex's college dreams and her letter of rejection from her number one college choice.  The post quickly shot up to the second most popular post and I suspect it may become number one in the future. College can be a part of our kid's future and  Alex's generation has been making their dreams of college a reality.

Following is an excerpt.

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Yesterday my daughter was broken. Yesterday Alex saw her dreams dashed. Yesterday she felt all her hard work was for naught. Alex cried and cried and will cry every day for a long time. Disappointment is hard for all kids, particularly Alex. It takes Alex longer to get out of the now than her siblings. The next few weeks will be rough..... 

 Yesterday I fell apart. I cried for all the hard work we have done to help Alex realize her dream of going to college. I cried for all the hard work I have ahead of me as we search for another college option for Alex. I cried for all the paperwork I have filled out and will have to fill out again. I cried and cried and will cry everyday for a long time.

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Thanks to that second most read post ever we received a number of recommendations from readers across the country. This show of support helped Alex and I get back on track and we investigated a number of programs. 

Each recommendation went through the following vetting process. First, Alex's criterion:

• Not in Colorado
• I want to live there
• I want to go for four years
• When I graduate I have a diploma
• I want to make lots of friends
• I do not want my Mom or Dad to be there

Next, my criterion:

• Close to family or friends (or we temporarily relocate)
• Safe environment
• Inclusive classrooms and extracurricular opportunities
• 4 year certification program tailored to Alex's interest
• Nice kids, nice campus
• Dedicated program coordinator and support staff

After a lot of phone calls and internet research we came up with our short list (in this order):

1. The University of Cincinnati

2. The College of Charleston

3. Kennesaw State University

A few weeks ago we headed to Cincinnati, which is no easy task from Carbondale, CO. 

The beginning of the trip to Cincinnati - Carbondale - Denver - Atlanta - Indianapolis - Louisville

The trip home - Cincinnati - Louisville - Indianapolis - Minneapolis - Denver - Carbondale

In my next posts I will share more about the interview and the trip to Cincinnati, especially our lunch with two wonderful ladies we have been following from afar - and the reason we learned about the TAP Program at the University of Cincinnati!