25/31 How Alex prepared me to be one of the 47%

Being one of the 47% involves penny pinching, rule bending and humor. The following are the top 25 tricks Alex taught me that have made my new classification easier to bear.  

Penny Pinching:

• Never take a shower until your hair sticks to your head – saves water and shampoo
• Never wash clothes until they reek – saves water, electricity and detergent
• Only wear tee shorts with holes in them – they last much longer
• Sleep naked – saves on PJs
• Don’t exercise – saves on showers
• Sneak food – we will not know it is gone and have to go to grocery store
• Refuse to go clothes shopping – saves on gas and clothing costs
• Grow a uni-brow – will not have to get eyebrows waxed
• Don’t wear make-up – saves on make-up costs
• Never listen to Mom - or the above nine penny pinching hints will be moot

Rule Bending:

• Use SSI to buy groceries
• Use SSI to buy gas
• Request scholarships whenever possible
• Eat lunch at Costco
• Eat dinner at buffets
• Only buy food that is on sale – even if it is cookies
• Eat lots of rice and pasta
• Skip breakfast
• Change your age depending on the offer
• Cry as needed - mom and bill collectors will be nicer

 Humor:

• Always smile and laugh
• Recognize when someone needs a hug and hug
• Notice something different about a person and make a joke
• Make fun or yourself
• Tell Mom that things will be alright until she is sick of hearing it!

And the bonus……let Mom poke fun at me if it makes her feel better…..

A huge thanks to everyone who read my recent post about becoming one of the millions of Americans who are the 47%. I appreciate all the words of support I received. And after much thought – well not too much – to those who offered to help, please share our book with everyone you know.