October 28, 2012

28/31 Questions - Part 1 of 3 Bra-hating

Thank you to all who responded to my request for questions so I could continue to write every day in support of down syndrome awareness. I have never participated in this 31 days of blogging and it is hard to be exciting and engaged every day! This is question 1 of 3.

Question - Why does Alex hate to wear a bra?

I have a theory about this, one I developed without any input from bra-less Alex. She claims she does not want to wear a bra, and I often remark that I can see her "boobies". A very mature conversation between a 19 year old and her mother.

Alex says that bras are uncomfortable, and in all things Alex she is right. She does not really embrace the nuances of girl clothes and boy clothes, she is only into comfy clothes. This would be fine with me if she did not have boobies, but alas just like most 19 year old girls I know she does.

Alex is broad and slightly over weight. We have shopped for bras a number of times, but never found the right fit. Alex will wear an undershirt or sports bra, but very rarely dons the boob catcher. This all makes sense to me, but Alex still needs to be reminded that her boobies do not need to rock and roll when she walks around in public.

My theory is....when we moved to CO as Alex was entering 7th grade we missed the "girl" thing. It was in 7th grade that Courtney and her friends first started playing with make-up and wearing bras. It was during these middle school years that peer pressure started and the girls got their periods and had each other to lean on.

Alex did not have this. She moved into a new school where all the girls knew each other, she did not share these years of blossoming with her peers, just with her family. I believe Alex responded to this feeling of exclusion, by not conforming. She did not want to look like the other girls, to her they were not friends.

And as in all things Alex, she will come around at some point. She has already lost 6 pounds on the counting calories diet. Her clothes will fit better and as she spends more time in the community she will learn that boobies need to be perky not saggy. I believe that working in the restaurant will teach her that her appearance is important and she will want to learn about make-up and bras.....But I could be wrong....


  1. And so are you going to tell us why???? (waiting with bated breath)

  2. Fascinating! That makes sense to me.

    1. Sometimes it is so hard to figure out the "why" and others times so easy....Down syndrome can be so complex!

  3. I'm 57, have always hated bras and wear only sport bras for daily wear. Once or twice a year, I go someplace fancy and have to wear a "real" bra. Can't wait to get home and take them off! I doubt Alex will change her mind. Maybe she just needs slightly more supportive sport bras. But those things with hooks and wires and all...no way!

  4. I have a friend who only wears a bra when she has to work- sensory issues. Kayli fortunately has small boobies yet and can wear those little stretchy bras that just fade out the nipples :).
    I don't actually see this as a DS issue, many young women aren't girly. I myself wear very ugly Crocs and haven't worn make up regularly since I was in my 30's.....
    But definitely I'm in favoring of taming the boobies so that they are not the center of attention!

  5. Yes - I agree and I saw those crocs...they are not ugly, just slippery!


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