Could you please return my sweet daughter Alex? I think when you retired at midnight on October 31st you took Alex by mistake and left a witch in her place.
I know this is true, because Alex would never have four melt-downs in three days. She would never run up to her room screaming at the top of her lungs to leave her alone. Alex would never slam her door in my face and scream at me to leave. Alex would never punch or kick me. For goodness sake, Alex is 18, not seven. Well, maybe I am fibbing a bit, but at least I did not steal someone else's kid!
Who is this person you left at my house by mistake? Please come get her ASAP. I am tired of this sassy, food sneaking, temper tantrum throwing, rude person who is living in my house. I want my daughter back!
Thank you and I hope to see you next year – NOT!
No love lost, Alex’s Mom